Monday, June 1, 2009
More One Liners
• I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in, she said: Check books.
• The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.
• Sometimes when I reflect back on all the ciggarettes I smoked, i feel ashamed. Then I look into the ciggarette & think about the workers in the ciggarette factory & all of their hopes & dreams. If I dont smoke this ciggarette, they might be out of work & their dreams would be shattered, Then I say to myself, it's better that I smoke this ciggarette & let their dreams come true then be selfish & worry about my LUNGS.
• Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.
• What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
• My wife thinks "freedom of the press" means no-iron clothes.
• When the best actors are chosen by other actors, it's called the Oscars. When the best actors are chosen by the people, it's called an election.
• A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drove his prize possession.. .even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!"
• A boy tells his mom that he seen a boy & a girl sitting at the top of the roof & kissing. Then his mom tell him that they are gonna get married. Then the boy asks his mom: When is dad gonna marry the maid?
• "Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire' " Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously. "What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?" "I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied.
• Wife's definition of retirement: Twice as much husband on half as much pay.
• Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
• Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal
• At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
• A blonde was being admonished by the doctor: Until the penicillin cleans out ur infection, u r to have no relations whatsoever! Pausing for a moment, blonde replied: Ok, but what about friends & neighbors?
• A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
French: Toilette pepper!
• A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting on a deck at a nudist colony.
The history professor asked the psychology professor, "Have you read Marx?"
The psychology professor replied, "Yes, I think they are from the wicker chairs."
• We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations -- we are doing everything we can to keep our marriage together
• The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.
• Sometimes when I reflect back on all the ciggarettes I smoked, i feel ashamed. Then I look into the ciggarette & think about the workers in the ciggarette factory & all of their hopes & dreams. If I dont smoke this ciggarette, they might be out of work & their dreams would be shattered, Then I say to myself, it's better that I smoke this ciggarette & let their dreams come true then be selfish & worry about my LUNGS.
• Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.
• What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
• My wife thinks "freedom of the press" means no-iron clothes.
• When the best actors are chosen by other actors, it's called the Oscars. When the best actors are chosen by the people, it's called an election.
• A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drove his prize possession.. .even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!"
• A boy tells his mom that he seen a boy & a girl sitting at the top of the roof & kissing. Then his mom tell him that they are gonna get married. Then the boy asks his mom: When is dad gonna marry the maid?
• "Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire' " Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously. "What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?" "I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied.
• Wife's definition of retirement: Twice as much husband on half as much pay.
• Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
• Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal
• At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
• A blonde was being admonished by the doctor: Until the penicillin cleans out ur infection, u r to have no relations whatsoever! Pausing for a moment, blonde replied: Ok, but what about friends & neighbors?
• A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
French: Toilette pepper!
• A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting on a deck at a nudist colony.
The history professor asked the psychology professor, "Have you read Marx?"
The psychology professor replied, "Yes, I think they are from the wicker chairs."
• We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations -- we are doing everything we can to keep our marriage together
Yatri
कुन मन्दिरमा जान्छौ यात्री, कुन मन्दिरमा जाने हो?
कुन सामग्री पुजा गर्ने, साथ कसोरी लाने हो?
मानिसहरूको काँध चढी, कुन देवपुरीमा जाने हो?
हाडहरूका सुन्दर खम्बा, मांसपिण्डका दिवार !
मस्तिष्कको यो सुनको छाना, इन्द्रियहरूका द्वार !
नसा-नदीका तरल तर, मन्दिर आफू अपार !
कुन मन्दिरमा जान्छौ यात्री, कुन मन्दिरको द्वार ?
मनको सुन्दर सिंहासनमा, जगदिश्वरको राज !
चेतनाको यो ज्योति हिरण्यमय, उसको शिरको ताज !
शरिरको यो सुन्दर मन्दिर, विश्वक्षेत्रको माझ।
भित्र छ ईश्वर बाहिर आँखा, खोजी हिड्छौ कुन पुर?
ईश्वर बस्तछ गहिराइमा, सतह बहन्छौ कति दुर?
खोजी गर्छौ हृदय लगाऊ, बत्ति बाली तेज प्रचुर ?
साथी यात्री बीच सडकमा, ईश्वर हिड्छ साथ
चुम्दछ ईश्वर काम सुनौला, गरिरहेका हात
छुन्छ तिलस्मी करले उसले, सेवकहरूको साथ ।
सडक किनार गाउँछ ईश्वर, चराहरूको तानामा
बोल्दछ ईश्वर मानिसहरूका, पिडा, दु:खको गानामा
दर्शन किन्तु कहिँ दिँदैन, चर्म-चछुले कानामा ।
कुन मन्दिरमा जान्छौ यात्री, कुन नव-देश बिरानामा?
फर्क फर्क हे ! जाऊ समाऊ, मानिसहरूको पाउ !
मलम लगाऊ आर्तहरूको, चहराइरहेको घाउ
मानिस भइ ईश्वरको त्यो, दिव्य मुहार हँसाऊ ।।
By - Laxmi Prasad Devkota
कुन सामग्री पुजा गर्ने, साथ कसोरी लाने हो?
मानिसहरूको काँध चढी, कुन देवपुरीमा जाने हो?
हाडहरूका सुन्दर खम्बा, मांसपिण्डका दिवार !
मस्तिष्कको यो सुनको छाना, इन्द्रियहरूका द्वार !
नसा-नदीका तरल तर, मन्दिर आफू अपार !
कुन मन्दिरमा जान्छौ यात्री, कुन मन्दिरको द्वार ?
मनको सुन्दर सिंहासनमा, जगदिश्वरको राज !
चेतनाको यो ज्योति हिरण्यमय, उसको शिरको ताज !
शरिरको यो सुन्दर मन्दिर, विश्वक्षेत्रको माझ।
भित्र छ ईश्वर बाहिर आँखा, खोजी हिड्छौ कुन पुर?
ईश्वर बस्तछ गहिराइमा, सतह बहन्छौ कति दुर?
खोजी गर्छौ हृदय लगाऊ, बत्ति बाली तेज प्रचुर ?
साथी यात्री बीच सडकमा, ईश्वर हिड्छ साथ
चुम्दछ ईश्वर काम सुनौला, गरिरहेका हात
छुन्छ तिलस्मी करले उसले, सेवकहरूको साथ ।
सडक किनार गाउँछ ईश्वर, चराहरूको तानामा
बोल्दछ ईश्वर मानिसहरूका, पिडा, दु:खको गानामा
दर्शन किन्तु कहिँ दिँदैन, चर्म-चछुले कानामा ।
कुन मन्दिरमा जान्छौ यात्री, कुन नव-देश बिरानामा?
फर्क फर्क हे ! जाऊ समाऊ, मानिसहरूको पाउ !
मलम लगाऊ आर्तहरूको, चहराइरहेको घाउ
मानिस भइ ईश्वरको त्यो, दिव्य मुहार हँसाऊ ।।
By - Laxmi Prasad Devkota
What is OpenID?
OpenID eliminates the need for multiple usernames across different websites, simplifying your online experience.
You get to choose the OpenID Provider that best meets your needs and most importantly that you trust. At the same time, your OpenID can stay with you, no matter which Provider you move to. And best of all, the OpenID technology is not proprietary and is completely free.
For businesses, this means a lower cost of password and account management, while increasing site visitor registration conversion rates. OpenID lowers user frustration by letting users have control of their login.
For geeks, OpenID is an open, decentralized, free framework for user-centric digital identity. OpenID takes advantage of already existing internet technology (URI, HTTP, SSL, Diffie-Hellman) and realizes that people are already creating identities for themselves whether it be at their blog, photostream, profile page, etc. With OpenID you can easily transform one of these existing URIs into an account which can be used at sites which support OpenID logins.
OpenID is growing quickly and becoming more popular as large organizations like AOL, Facebook, France Telecom, Google, LiveDoor, Microsoft, Mixi, MySpace, Novell, Sun, Telecom Italia, Yahoo!, etc. begin to accept and/or provide OpenIDs. Today, it is estimated that there are over one billion OpenID enabled user accounts with over 40,000 websites supporting OpenID for sign in.
Who Owns or Controls OpenID?
OpenID was created in the summer of 2005 by an open source community trying to solve a problem that was not easily solved by other existing identity technologies. As such, OpenID is not owned by anyone, nor should it be. Today, anyone can choose to be an OpenID user or an OpenID Provider for free without having to register or be approved by any organization.
The OpenID Foundation was formed to assist the open source model by providing a legal entity to be the steward for the community by providing needed infrastructure and generally helping to promote and support expanded adoption of OpenID.
As Brad Fitzpatrick (the father of OpenID) said, “Nobody should own this. Nobody’s planning on making any money from this. The goal is to release every part of this under the most liberal licenses possible, so there’s no money or licensing or registering required to play. It benefits the community as a whole if something like this exists, and we’re all a part of the community.”
This statement continues to resonate today within the OpenID community.
How do I get an OpenID?
Surprise! You may already have one. If you use any of the following services, you already have your own OpenID. (When you see bold text, you should replace it with your own username, screenname or membername on the service.)
AOL
openid.aol.com/screenname
Google
Look for the “Sign in with a Google Account” button
MySpace
Look for the “Login with MySpaceID” button or enter myspace.com/username
Yahoo!
Look for the “Sign in with Yahoo! ID” button
Blogger
blogname.blogspot.com
Flickr
Look for the “Sign in with Yahoo! ID” button or enter www.flickr.com/photos/username
LiveDoor
profile.livedoor.com/username
LiveJournal
username.livejournal.com
Orange (France Telecom)
http://openid.orange.fr/
SmugMug
username.smugmug.com
Technorati
technorati.com/people/technorati/username
Vox
member.vox.com
WordPress.com
username.wordpress.com
Where can I use my OpenID?
You can use your OpenID on any one of a growing number of sites (nearly ten-thousand) which support OpenID. If one of your favorite sites doesn’t support OpenID yet, ask them when they will!
You get to choose the OpenID Provider that best meets your needs and most importantly that you trust. At the same time, your OpenID can stay with you, no matter which Provider you move to. And best of all, the OpenID technology is not proprietary and is completely free.
For businesses, this means a lower cost of password and account management, while increasing site visitor registration conversion rates. OpenID lowers user frustration by letting users have control of their login.
For geeks, OpenID is an open, decentralized, free framework for user-centric digital identity. OpenID takes advantage of already existing internet technology (URI, HTTP, SSL, Diffie-Hellman) and realizes that people are already creating identities for themselves whether it be at their blog, photostream, profile page, etc. With OpenID you can easily transform one of these existing URIs into an account which can be used at sites which support OpenID logins.
OpenID is growing quickly and becoming more popular as large organizations like AOL, Facebook, France Telecom, Google, LiveDoor, Microsoft, Mixi, MySpace, Novell, Sun, Telecom Italia, Yahoo!, etc. begin to accept and/or provide OpenIDs. Today, it is estimated that there are over one billion OpenID enabled user accounts with over 40,000 websites supporting OpenID for sign in.
Who Owns or Controls OpenID?
OpenID was created in the summer of 2005 by an open source community trying to solve a problem that was not easily solved by other existing identity technologies. As such, OpenID is not owned by anyone, nor should it be. Today, anyone can choose to be an OpenID user or an OpenID Provider for free without having to register or be approved by any organization.
The OpenID Foundation was formed to assist the open source model by providing a legal entity to be the steward for the community by providing needed infrastructure and generally helping to promote and support expanded adoption of OpenID.
As Brad Fitzpatrick (the father of OpenID) said, “Nobody should own this. Nobody’s planning on making any money from this. The goal is to release every part of this under the most liberal licenses possible, so there’s no money or licensing or registering required to play. It benefits the community as a whole if something like this exists, and we’re all a part of the community.”
This statement continues to resonate today within the OpenID community.
How do I get an OpenID?
Surprise! You may already have one. If you use any of the following services, you already have your own OpenID. (When you see bold text, you should replace it with your own username, screenname or membername on the service.)
AOL
openid.aol.com/screenname
Look for the “Sign in with a Google Account” button
MySpace
Look for the “Login with MySpaceID” button or enter myspace.com/username
Yahoo!
Look for the “Sign in with Yahoo! ID” button
Blogger
blogname.blogspot.com
Flickr
Look for the “Sign in with Yahoo! ID” button or enter www.flickr.com/photos/username
LiveDoor
profile.livedoor.com/username
LiveJournal
username.livejournal.com
Orange (France Telecom)
http://openid.orange.fr/
SmugMug
username.smugmug.com
Technorati
technorati.com/people/technorati/username
Vox
member.vox.com
WordPress.com
username.wordpress.com
Where can I use my OpenID?
You can use your OpenID on any one of a growing number of sites (nearly ten-thousand) which support OpenID. If one of your favorite sites doesn’t support OpenID yet, ask them when they will!
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