Saturday, August 14, 2010

Rajnikant : What Is There That I Can't Do? I Am Impossible.


Indian movies doesn’t necessarily mean Bollywood, its a vast country and just like bollywood, the south Indian film industry also has its fare share… One of the biggest name of South India film industry and also known face to bollywood is Mr. Rajnikanth
 
As happens with all celebrity, he also has his own set jokes… !!! Below ones can be found at many Indian forums and websites, I thought it wont be a bad idea to give a little fun to my readers by sharing this funny facts… 
  • Rajnikant can sneeze with his eyes open.
  • If you have five dollars and Rajnikant has five dollars, Rajnikant has more money than you.
  • Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Rajnikant has 72... and they're all poisonous.
  • Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Rajnikant's warm-up exercises.
  • Rajnikant can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
  • In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikant could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  • While urinating, Rajnikant is easily capable of welding titanium.
  • Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
  • It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes Movie.
  • Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
  • When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
  • Rajnikant is the only person in the world that can actually email a kick.
  • Rajnikant can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
  • Rajnikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
  • Rajnikant doesnt wear a watch, He decides what time it is.
  • When Rajnikant does division, there are no remainders.
  • Rajnikant never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
  • Rajnikant doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
  • When you say "no one's perfect", Rajnikant takes this as a personal insult.
  • There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
  • If you Google search "Rajnikant getting kicked you will generate zero results. It just doesn''t happen.
  • The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
  • Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.
  • Rajanikanth makes onions cry.
  • When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… …. he turns the dark off.
  • When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
  • The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.
  • Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  • The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
 
Mind it! It’s Rajnikant!
We all know Sir Isaac Newton, the man behind the laws of Physics and truly a scientist extraordinaire!! But you know what the universal laws of Physics were proven wrong and Newton was greatly disappointed.
 
Here’s the reason why Newton committed suicide…..
 
Once, Newton had come to India and he had watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. Here is how he was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk .
 
In the movie of Rajnikant, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:
 
1) Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajnikant!
 
2) In another movie, Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
 
3) Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…
 
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics!! The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops, not so fast!
 
The ‘climax’ finally arrives.
 
Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajnikant can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax.
 
(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)
 
Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
 
Newton finally commits suicide…
 
Words are not enough to embellish the glory of Rajnikant, because there’s nothing Rajnikant can’t do!! So…MIND ITtt!!
 
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4 comments:

RRijal said...

hahahaa nice post

N K M said...

LOL!

Bijay Mishra said...

Thanks For ur Comments NKM And RRijal jee!

Anonymous said...

nice post and a good try.I loved it.

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